Mike Love
Manipulation
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A behaviour is not the same as proof.The sentence this whole book is built on.
From the author
Half a minute on this
The same voice as the book, shorter.
How to tell if your partner is manipulating you, and how to take back your mind.
Does any of this sound familiar?
- You apologise for things you did not do.
- You rehearse sentences in your head before you dare say them.
- Your memory of what happened keeps getting corrected.
- Your friends saw it before you did.
- Somehow you are the problem every single time.
What this book is
A plain explanation of how manipulation works, why it works on clever and strong people, and what each tactic looks like from the inside while it is happening to you.
What it is not
A diagnosis of your partner. This book names behaviours, not people, and it is careful about the difference between a difficult person and a dangerous one.
What is inside
Part I. Understanding manipulation: what it really is, why it works on smart and strong people, the cycle that keeps you waiting for the good times, and who manipulates and why.
Part II. The tactics, one chapter each: guilt and emotional blackmail, gaslighting, love bombing and hot-and-cold affection, blame-shifting and moving goalposts, isolation and control, criticism and the slow erosion of self-worth.
Part III. What it does to you: self-doubt, the fog, and how to start trusting your own memory again.
Part IV. Taking your mind back: keeping a record, setting a limit and holding it, and conversations that do not go the way they usually go.
Part V. Staying or going, and how to leave safely if that is the answer.
And then. Appendices, a glossary of the terms used, further reading, and where to get help.
Buy it if
- You come out of conversations unsure what just happened.
- You want to name it, because you cannot explain it to anyone yet.
- You want your own judgement back.
Do not buy it if
- You are looking for proof to win an argument.
- You want a label to put on somebody.
- You are in danger. Then read the first ten pages and call the number at the end.
334 pages. It starts with a safety check, and it means it.
More from the library
Questions
How do I receive the book?
Is the translation a machine translation?
Will it show up on my bank statement?
If you are afraid of your partner, start somewhere else.
If you have been threatened, hurt or controlled, or you think that raising this could put you or your children at risk, contact your local emergency number or a domestic violence service before anything else. Your safety comes before any question these books discuss.