Mike Love
We Always Fight
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A behaviour is not the same as proof.The sentence this whole book is built on.
From the author
Half a minute on this
The same voice as the book, shorter.
How to stop the same old arguments, talk without hurting each other, and feel close again.
Does any of this sound familiar?
- You could both perform the argument from memory.
- It starts over a plate and ends over something from four years ago.
- One of you escalates and the other goes silent, every single time.
- You win, and it feels worse than losing.
- You have started avoiding the subjects instead of the fights.
What this book is
A practical book about how couples argue: what is really being fought about, what makes it worse in the first ninety seconds, and how to repair afterwards so it does not pile up.
What it is not
A method for never arguing again. Couples who last are not the ones who do not fight; they are the ones who repair.
What is inside
Part I. Why we fight: what is underneath the argument, the four things most fights are really about, and your part in the pattern.
Part II. What makes fights worse: the first ninety seconds, flooding, the words that end the conversation, and silence as a weapon.
Part III. Fighting better: how to start, how to listen when you do not want to, pausing without walking out, and repairing afterwards.
Part IV. The hot topics: money, chores, family, jealousy, and sex.
Part V. Feeling close again: the small rituals that do more than any apology.
Buy it if
- You have the same fight on a loop and want the loop broken.
- You want to say the hard thing without a casualty.
- You are both still trying.
Do not buy it if
- You want to be proved right.
- You are the only one willing to change anything.
- The fights include fear, threats or violence. That is a different book.
321 pages. Read the first part together, if you can.
More from the library
Questions
How do I receive the book?
Is the translation a machine translation?
Will it show up on my bank statement?
If you are afraid of your partner, start somewhere else.
If you have been threatened, hurt or controlled, or you think that raising this could put you or your children at risk, contact your local emergency number or a domestic violence service before anything else. Your safety comes before any question these books discuss.